↗️ 30 minutes that changed my life

I want to tell you about 30 minutes in 2013 that completely changed my life direction. At that time, I felt like a failing leader in a multinational corporation, but then I learned a skill that turned it around. By the end, my team stood next to me right up until the moment I had to let them all go.

About 15 years ago, I was a Human Resources Analyst at BHP, a huge international corporation with employees in 90 locations across the globe. I enjoyed the work, and I was good at it.

So good that after about 2 years, they promoted me. It was a big step, and I was ready for it.

I thought.

But, to be honest, I wasn't. I led the same way I had worked until then...by taking control, diving deep into the details, and just making the decisions.

Except that was a problem – I wasn't an analyst anymore. I was a leader and a manager, but I didn't have the skills to be good at either then.

Our office was a beautiful, large, open space with huge windows looking out over Singapore. From my desk, I could see and hear any problem that came up. And, at the first sign of trouble, I would just dash in and help. Relentlessly.

My micromanagement baffled my team. They had the skills to be very good at their jobs, but I held them back.

I knew I was failing, but I didn't know what else to do. I didn't know any other way to lead.

But then, something wild happened. My company finally trained me to become a better leader...after 2 years of struggling.

During this comprehensive weeks-long Leadership training, I learned there were other ways I could lead.

I remember one short 30-min section when the instructor decided to show what leading by coaching could look like.

Before this moment, I thought coaching at work was just a waste of time...it was too indirect, too soft, too slow. But, when I saw her do it with a peer in front of class, I knew I was wrong.

Her direct, candid conversational style helped him see his challenge AND his solutions clearly. Above all, she led through open questions. My peer walked away self-motivated, with a plan and with a smile. I could not believe it.

I blinked in disbelief.

And a moment later I decided I had to master this skill.

When I went back to my team, I led differently. Rather than diving into every problem, I started giving the people on my team the autonomy they craved...and deserved.

I stopped solving every problem for them.

And I was surprised by the results...They were excited to own a piece of this massive international business, to be an expert in their area, and to have the autonomy to make decisions about it.

Now, when I looked across the large open office I didn't see people struggling. I saw people laughing together. I saw people enthusiastic about their work. I saw people who were energized, rather than drained by challenges.

And, when I stopped doing both my work and theirs, I suddenly had more time for deeper conversations, to understand their strengths and weaknesses, and to be an advocate for our team. My biggest triumph was that months later many of them received the promotions they deserved.

My team stayed and continued proudly performing right until the end when BHP had decided to move our work out of Singapore.

Here's what I learned in that experience: simply being promoted to a leadership position doesn't make you a good leader.

To be an effective leader, I needed to develop new leadership skills. For me, the skills that made the biggest difference were professional coaching habits like adopting a curious, non-judgmental mindset; asking questions to generate insight; building trust; and communicating directly and clearly.

Since then, I've dedicated my professional life to helping leaders go from struggling to successful. I built a Coaching Skill Academy, a cohort-based, intensive course for Leaders. It is designed to open eyes.

Leaders from big companies like SAP and eBay have attended alongside solopreneurs and startup Founders. And, they love it...there are over 50 reviews on my website with an average rating of 4.9 out of 5 for the coach-skill programs that I dedicated my life to.

It took me years of struggle to learn the skills my clients now learn in just a few months. Faster learning, faster results, and without having to let their own team go...I've built the training I wish I'd had before I stepped into my first leadership role.

It took me just 30 minutes to change my entire perspective about Leading and I would like to pay it forward!

This coming Tuesday, my coaching education partner Abhijit and I will run a 30-min (coincidence?) LIVE session on LinkedIn, where we run some fun role-plays to distinguish bad from good coaching.