↗️ Are you reacting or responding?
🕑 2 min Read
Imagine the following two scenarios:
Scenario 1: Person A gets an email.
The boss asks why the report is late.
A hits 'reply' right away, with anger and disbelief. In the email, A accuses the boss of contradicting themselves and says that they are treated unfairly. It's the boss's fault that the report is late due to unclear instructions. A sends off the email and feels glad they got that off their chest.
A day later, A gets a stern reply from their boss that the response was out of line. A rereads their own email and admits to being a bit shocked about their own tone. The matter turned into a relationship conflict.
Scenario 2: Person B gets an email.
Their boss asks why the report is late.
B notices anger flaring up but then focuses inward and takes two deep breaths. B is still upset and writes a longer email defending the situation.
B then decides to save the email as a draft, gets up, and walks out for 10 minutes. B can feel how walking clears their mind. B sits back at the computer, reads the draft they wrote earlier, and admits to being shocked about their own tone.
B rewrites the email to be more neutral and factual. B sighs in relief that they did not send their first draft.
A day later, B’s boss replies, acknowledging the information and suggesting a meeting to discuss further.
The matter remained a task conflict.
The Take-Away?
Person A reacted.
Person B responded.
The difference between those two is often just two deep breaths to buy yourself time.
What could be a conversation next week in which you want to ensure you respond, not react?
Maik
Maik Frank
Maik is a PCC Executive Coach and the founder of IntelliCoach.com. He has coached and trained over 400 People Leaders to improve their communication skills and offers guaranteed measurable growth to his clients. He also hosts the Coaching Leader Podcast.
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