βοΈ Are you reacting or responding?
Imagine the following two scenarios:
Person A gets an email.
The boss asks why the report is late.
A hits βreplyβ right away, with anger and disbelief.
In the email, A accuses the boss that they are wrong and that itβs not Aβs fault that the report is late. A sends off the email and feels satisfied.
A day later, A gets a stern reply from their boss that the reply was out of line.
A rereads their own email and admits to be a bit shocked about their own tone.
The matter turned into a relationship conflict.
Person B gets an email.
Their boss asks why the report is late.
B notices anger flaring up, but then focuses inwards and takes 2 deep breaths.
B is still upset and writes a longer email defending the situation.
B then decides to save the email as βdraftβ, gets up and walks out for 10minutes.
B can feel how the motion and different setting clears the mind. B sits back at the computer, reads the draft they wrote earlier and admits to be a bit shocked about their own tone.
B rewrites the email to be more neutral and factual. B sighs in relief that they did not send their first draft.
A day later, Bβs boss replies, acknowledging the information and suggesting for a meeting to discuss further.
The matter remained a task conflict.
The Take-Away
Person A reacted.
Person B responded.
When we choose to respond, we give ourselves the necessary time to act in our own best interest.
We donβt let our emotions hijack the moment
In what area of your work or non-work are you REACTING much more than RESPONDING?
Maik Frank
Maik is a PCC Executive Coach and the founder of IntelliCoach.com. He has coached and trained over 400 People Leaders to improve their communication skills and offers guaranteed measurable growth to his clients. He also hosts the Coaching Leader Podcast.
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