🎙️ EP 46 : Are you Checking IN or Checking UP?
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Check IN vs Check UP
So you are busy working on a project, hacking away on your computer. Your boss walks over to you and asks:
“Can I check, when is the report done that I asked for? Is it almost completed?”
How does that inquiry make you feel?
If you are like most people (including me), you feel that you have been ‘checked up’ on. And it is not a favourable impression and feeling.
In this article and podcast, I will explore the difference between ‘checking in’ on someone vs ‘checking up’. It’s a difference that is subtle in language, but huge in impact…as is often the case in communication.
What is the difference between checkin IN vs checking UP on someone?
Let me check up on you!
The question above was a ‘checking up’ example: You monitor and confirm the progress and completion of tasks that you gave to your team members.
It is closely related to a strong sense of control by the Leader. What you are saying between the lines is:
“I am your boss. I want to control what you’re doing. I need to see what you’re doing because, without my oversight, you will probably not give your full effort.“
It is a classic reliance on power distance. In this case, the Leader does not rely on high trust with their team members. And because of the lack of trust, they have to instead depend on a high degree of control, lots of procedures and processes to get to the desired outcome they have in their head.
The impact of the style? You will very likely bang heads with your team members, especially millennials, most knowledge workers.
Leaders who love to check up on their team members are especially in a dilemma right now, when many people work from home. Why?
They simply cannot check up, unless they show up at your doorstep. And this is obviously out of the question right now. Before COVID-19, bosses who liked to check up on their people had it much easier. They can parade the open-plan floor and get a good feel for what their people are doing and surprise them with a ‘check-up’ every now and then.
The effect is usually that people clearly feel that their boss does not trust them. They justify their progress and protect themselves from a Leader who feels is looking for what is NOT working.
The occasion is not limited to the workplace, by the way. If you come home late from work and your partner asks you:
“Why are you late? What were you doing? Why did you not text me?” Well, in this case you will have a similar effect of a feeling of distrust towards you.
On a very simple level, frequent check-ups can be a sign of a lack of trust in a relationship, work or not work. The check-up acts as a mitigation to the lack of trust. Without that tight leash, people would be more likely to misbehave.
Now, what is the opposite of all this? What do modern People Leaders, who are equipped with Coaching Skills, do?
Can I Check IN on you?
Checking in is closely related to the coaching mindset.
How so?
When you work with your people in a coaching mindset, you believe that they are capable and resourceful. They will also try to establish a partnering relationship with their people first, where the power distance is as small as possible.
A Leader who checks in, will approach their team members with a very different mindset.
The questions on top of mind for them are much more likely like:
‘How is this person doing right now in their project?
What are they struggling with?
What kind of help might they need?’
You will ask questions that show concern, rather than making the person feel they are under constant surveillance.
A positive side effect of a check-in is that you are much more likely to find out early about possible mistakes, errors and obstacles for performance. It also adds to, rather than removes from, the quality of the relationship. And as we know from ‘The Speed of Trust’ by Stephen Covey: When a relationship is strong and trusting, it results in high speed and less cost of interaction.
So, the next time you are in an emotional high and need to work with your team member on an important high-pressure goal, before approaching them, ask yourself: Are you about to CHECK UP on them to find out whether they are really doing what they are supposed to? Or is your intent more related to concern, to help them if needed? In this case you will CHECK-IN. The difference to their perception and openness towards you will be tangible and real.
All the best and good luck in your upcoming Team Member interactions!
Cheers, Maik
Maik Frank
Maik is a PCC Executive Coach and the founder of IntelliCoach.com. He has coached and trained over 400 People Leaders to improve their communication skills and offers guaranteed measurable growth to his clients. He also hosts the Coaching Leader Podcast.
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