🎙️ EP 72 : Coaching is a partnership of (un)equals

Can you be a Manager to someone and at the same time be their coach? This is tricky. Coaching relies on trust, on the success of establishing a partnership. However, when we coach, we are almost living two different roles at the same time. We are equal AND unequal. Let’s dive in and explore what that means!

EQUAL:
There’s an obvious way how Leader Coaches are unequal to their team members as coaches. Leader Coaches are still Line Managers. The coached Team Member is in a position of dependency. When we coach, we want to establish enough trust and safety, so that the status difference between us is almost entirely removed. Coaching relies on a partnership of equality between coach and client, so that either can share what’s on their mind, agree or disagree with the other person, without fearing being reprimanded.

How does a coach establish equality and safety? We make explicit offers to the other person to counter our arguments, to disagree with us, for example. We also ask people specifically about how well the coaching approach work for them and what they would like to do less or more. This alone is an eye-opener for clients, who never thought they could challenge their coach!

UNEQUAL:
While we strive to be equal in status to our coachee, we are also unequal. And this refer to the distinctly different role we have as coach, compared to our coachee. Yes, we partner equally in status, but what we bring in to the conversation is very different. The Coachee is the expert in the topic, in the problem to be solved. What is the coach’s role then? We are the expert in the process of coaching and no more. It is central to ethical practice.

In summary, the best kind of coaching maintains this duality. We are equal, safe and partnering. We are also unequal in terms of our role in the conversation.

Hope this gave a little extra perspective!