🎙️ EP 9 : Great Question – What is your recommendation

In Today’s ‘Great Question’ episode, we are looking at one specific question:

There is a surprising level of depth here, as this question alone illustrates very well a lot of the principles that underpin coaching.

To make my recommendation to you a bit more balanced, I will talk about this question from different perspectives. The mental tool I will use for that is the ‘6 thinking hats’ model by Edward De Bono (debonogroup.com/six_thinking_hats.php)

We use this question when a team member approaches us on a problem and we want to have a chance to hear what their stand is. We want to draw them out.

The question creates space and helps people feel invited to think for themselves and take a position. It also gives the Leader a breather and a way out…to prevent them from just sharing their opinion right out of the gate.
Furthermore, if we do this consistently, we will reap a second-degree effect and value: your team member will bring you less and higher-quality and more thought-through requests and questions, simply because they don’t want to be caught off-guard by that question of yours.
Asking this question regularly is also a consistent and powerful way to build trust and confidence in our team members

Clearly, this question won’t work in all instances. For example, if there is a black/white correct answer to a question that our team member asks, and we know the answer, but don’t give it to them, then we will quickly be seen as passive-aggressive. And rightly so.
We also have to be careful if we use this question with an employee who we have a low-trust relationship with. They won’t be open to sharing their recommendation so easily, as they assume negative intent in us.
The question might also expose team members who do not feel safe and make them close up.

Alternative approaches could be to ask: ‘Given all you know at this moment, what comes first to mind for you?’ ‘I am curious, if you were in my position, what would you do?’ David Marquet’s approach (see his book “Turn the ship around”) also offers an interesting way. He trained his people always to approach him with a clear intent that was the outcome of a decision they had made. It requires that people make a decision before approaching the Leader and are ready to back it up.

I really like the question as it is empowering on many levels. It is a great expression of trust if sincerely delivered. I personally liked it because it became during my Manager times one of the best tools to honor my team’s thoughts and opinions.

What can we do with it? The next time when a team member and a colleague asks you for your help on a challenge they have, consider asking them for their recommendation first. Positive side effect: Most people love to be asked for advice. It opens doors and is a clear sign of respect.

Good luck and I hope you will benefit from this simple question when you engage with your team members again!

-Maik