🕑 3 min Read
I want to share a simple yet powerful technique that can transform your conversations, especially when coaching or leading your team. The words people choose offer valuable clues to their underlying thoughts and feelings.
⚙️ Here's how it works
When a team member shares a challenge, pick a key word that stands out. Instead of immediately offering advice, ask a clarifying question about that word.
Example 1: "Overwhelmed"
Team Member: "I'm feeling completely overwhelmed with this project."
Leader (Instead of): "Let's break down the tasks and create a timeline."
Leader (Try this): "When you say 'overwhelmed,' what exactly contributes to that for you? I would like to understand more."
Example 2: "Support"
Team Member: "I really need more support on this."
Leader (Instead of): "I'll assign someone to assist you."
Leader (Try this): "I get it. When you say 'support,' what kind of support do you mean? Is it technical expertise, additional resources, or something else entirely?"
Example 3: "Stuck"
Team Member: "I'm stuck on this problem."
Leader (Instead of): "Here's how I would approach it..."
Leader (Try this): "Tell me more about 'stuck.' What have you learned from what you tried so far? What's the biggest obstacle you're facing?"
💡 The Lightbulb Moment
The core insight here is that exploring the specific words people use when expressing themselves is a powerful key to unlocking deeper understanding and empowering them to find their own solutions.
It's way more than just asking questions; it's about how we ask them. By focusing on their chosen words, we demonstrate curiosity and empathy, showing that we're value their choice of words.
This approach also does several powerful things:
it invites them to reflect more deeply on their own thoughts and feelings
helps us avoid making assumptions, and
fosters a safer space for open communication.
In essence, it highlightes the power of paying close attention to the language people use, turning everyday conversations into opportunities for growth and connection.
Maik
Maik Frank
Maik is a PCC Executive Coach and the founder of IntelliCoach.com. He has coached and trained over 400 People Leaders to improve their communication skills and offers guaranteed measurable growth to his clients. He also hosts the Coaching Leader Podcast.
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