↗️ No, really! How *are* you?

Ask someone “How are you?“

Here’s a kind of response you might get:

“Oh, yeah. It was a long week. Been busy finishing my work project, took the kids this week to a small adventure…oh, and I started guitar lessons again.“

As a coach, we listen closely. And we realise that the person has not actually answered our question. Instead of “How are you?“, they heard and answered: “What were you doing lately?“

It happens so often that people answer a question that was never asked ( and you don’t have to be a media-trained politician!).

Yet, “How are you?” is a special case.

If you are really interested in *how* someone is doing (and not what), lean in, look them in the eyes.

Then ask again.

“No, really..
How..
ARE..
You?“

I made the experience that it takes a retry or two to snap people out of mechanically answering it and seeing it as more than a rhetorical opener…to actually look up, *arrive*, and give a real answer.

It can be a surprising pattern interrupt.

And that leaves me with only one last question to ask you:

How
ARE
You?

-Maik