↗️ Solving in disguise!

When I start training leaders in coaching skills, I often just let them do a simple exercise. I want them to help someone without giving any kind of advice. Their role is to help the other person figure out a solution by themselves.

A fun thing then typically happens: They learning coaches often end up wrapping their advice into questions. They just can't get out of their helping, consulting, advising role.

How do you recognize that happens?

Well, it's when a question starts anywhere like this:

• Have you considered/thought about...?

• Isn't it the case that...?

• Don't you think that...?

• Would it not be a possibility to...?

• What speaks against trying to...?

All of these questions are 'just' solving in disguise.

I am running workshops this week with a group of brilliant, senior Leaders who learn to include coaching in their toolkit. One of their biggest struggles is exactly that need to solve, to weigh in, to give suggestions.

The alternative approach looks simple, but can be quite a mind-bender:

• What have you learned from what you've tried so far?

• What do you want to experiment with?

• What's hard for you about what you want to achieve?

• What needs your attention right now?

• What are you learning about the situation or about yourself?

• This is a completely different approach. It invites the other party to think, to weigh, to consider.

Simply put: when asking solutions in disguise, it's the leader coach who does all the thinking work. When you coach, the party is on the spot to think, develop, generate.

It's an amazing shift!

Watch out for those solutions in disguise that might jump out without warning. They are much less helpful than they feel!