Stop the "Bad News" Reflex

I remember a while back when I got a letter by the police here in Singapore. What was my first reaction? That feeling when your stomach drops. You brace for bad news.

I was wrong.

Turns out the police congratulated for 5 years of error-free driving!! I still remember how dumbfounded I was...more about how wrong my intuition was than about the letter itself.

Unfortunately, many of our teams have the exact same reflex when we say, "Can I give you some feedback?" For too long, feedback has been synonymous with "something went wrong." We, as leaders, have inadvertently trained them to expect bad news.

This is a huge missed opportunity.

The lightbulb moment for me was realizing that this "bad news reflex" isn't about feedback itself. It's much more about how we've conditioned its delivery. We often focus solely on what needs fixing, viewing positive reinforcement as "soft" or unnecessary. But what we focus on gets reinforced! If we only highlight errors, we're reinforcing a culture where people expect to be called out.

So, how do we break this pattern?

We need to actively spotlight and validate what is working well. This goes beyond empty praise; it's strategically confirming and strengthening desirable behaviors.

Here's a simple challenge for this week:

When you're looking for opportunities to give feedback, ask yourself: "What's working well that I want my team members to CONTINUE doing?"

Acknowledge routine but valuable wins: the weekly report that's always on time, the team member who consistently manages client expectations, or the clear email communication during a busy period. Shine a light on those things. Make positive feedback as frequent, or even more frequent, than corrective feedback.

Try it out. You'll be surprised how quickly you can retrain that reflex and build a more positive, high-performing team culture. It will also establish a very different team 'mood'!