Don't Coach the Ghost (Podcast 119)

Have you been in conversations where you spend almost all your time talking about someone not in the room? A colleague who’s slow, unresponsive, difficult - and suddenly you’re both investigating that person’s motives like detectives.

In my latest Podcast episode (ep 119!), I dive into how to stop investigating such a 'ghost' in the room and start coaching the person in front of you. It builds on the previous episode 60: Coaching the Person, Not the Problem - with some fresh, practical additions.

Here's the 3-step pivot I talk about in the episode:

Acknowledge and validate: “That sounds incredibly frustrating.” You’re recognizing the reality of the person in front of you - not agreeing about the ghost.

Ask the pivot question: “Given all that, what’s the real challenge here for YOU right now?” This draws attention to an area where that we can actually do something about!

Explore their circle of influence: Identify one small, controllable next step and what they will do. "What's in your control here in relation to [insert ghost]".

This invites them to move from venting to problem solving. And if they don't take up the invitation and continue venting...well then at least you know they are not coachable in this moment on this!

Here’s to more productive conversations—with the people actually in the room.

Listen to this podcast episode here → www.intellicoach.com/ep119